


Ownd

by FishPrincess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 01:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3590562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishPrincess/pseuds/FishPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When kismeses Roxy and Sollux both excel in hacking, the excitement in their relationship depends on creativity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ownd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fadedlikethelilac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlikethelilac/gifts).



It came first as a message on a dimly lit screen that shone bright in a dark room. Her face was lit only by the blue light of a television screen, but the illumination emanating from her phone ruined any dramatic effect this had. 

She bet he knew it, too. 

Bastard. 

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 4:48 \--

TA: plea2e tell me you’re not playiing that dumb human 2port game.

She pressed the start button on the NES controller -- not to respond, but to tent her fingers in preparation for an incredibly entertaining master plan. Her brows creased partially in frustration by the intentional interruption, but at the same time, this was a prime opportunity to unleash Hell on one particularly lispy douchebag. 

After pulling her fingers apart, she turned toward her laptop to type furiously away.

TG: u come to me in my house  
TG: my house of sweet pixel ice  
TG: full of smelly men w/ sticks  
TA: what???

She pushed the computer beside her, screen tilted downward, in hope of no more interruptions for the rest of the game. Besides, the longer she waited to respond, the more entertaining his messages for her would be. There was a specific and personal game she enjoyed playing at any given opportunity, one which she titled: “how many question marks can Sollux Captor use in one sitting?” 

A few rounds later, she opened up the laptop fully for an unfortunately underwhelming number of messages.

TA: that’2 2ome vague bull2hiit, rx.  
TA: rx?????  
TA: hello???????????  
TA: damn iit, rx. FUCK.  
TG: thats all u got sodacap???  
TA: that ii2 the wor2t po22iible re2pon2e.  
TA: congratulatiion2.  
TG: wheres my daily dose of overused q marks  
TG: that was weak even for you  
TG: u come to me in my house  
TG: on the day of my totes existing kids wedding  
TA: omg 2hut up.  
TA: plu2 ii’m pretty 2ure you are hardcore fuckiing up that reference.  
TG: am i  
TA: ye2.  
TA: but enough of thii2 bulge twii2tiing ciirclejerk.  
TA: you need to 2ee thii2.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] sent file iimportant2hiit.zip --

TG: wow socap what do u take me 4  
TG: i aint openin that up  
TG: thats in babys guide to hacking 101  
TG: DENIED!!!!  
TG: i just stamped the screen to emphasize how TOTES denied that file is  
TA: what iif iit’2 not?  
TG: rejectomundo el capitan  
TA: 2ure.  
TG: wait a swsrry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamezsrry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamez  
TG: what did u do to my backspace  
TA: whatever are you talkiing about?  
TG: dont play coy w me  
TG: dont pull tryin to sound fake fancy cuz that shits so opps of natural that srry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamez  
TA: are you now?  
TA: you 2tiill 2eem two be talkiing two me.  
TA: you can’t be THAT bu2y.  
TG: man u got it comin  
TA: lmao.  
TG: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
TG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  
TA: are you haviing fun over there? look2 liike a real bla2t.  
TG: ya i jusrsrry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamezsrry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamez  
TG: welp

By now, it was more than obvious that Roxy wasn’t the best at one-handed typing, which she often defaulted to when she was snacking (like she was now, on some weird troll gummies she stole from him) or drinking anything. Back when she used to drink, her typing habits were much worse. Needless to say, frequent typos escaped her fingers, but at least now she was sober enough to catch them before hitting enter. Catching them, however, meant nothing now that her backspace button had been compromised.

It was time to toss the bag of gummies aside and bring out both hands. Now, her accuracy was impeccable, and she became a force to be reckoned with. 

TA: and there goe2 your delete key.   
TG: ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd   
TG: oooh thats fun   
TG: every time i talk 2 u im just gonna hit delete   
TG: couldnt u have made it caps   
TA: two much effort tbh.   
TA: what?   
TA: 2peechle22 all of a 2udden?   
TA: or ii2 that ju2t the 2ound of you beiing ownd?   
TA: waiit a 2econd!   
TA: what the FUCK ii2 that 2ound?   
TA: iit’2 2o loud!   
TG: this is me givin u a look of pure disbelief   
TG: hmmm????   
TG: im totes confused 2 the max rn   
TA: turn iit off!!   
TG: sodacappers idk wut ur talkin about   
TG: do u require the medical attention   
TA: how can you not hear thii2?????   
TG: i may be able 2 hear the faint high pitched squealins of the worlds most beloved kitty cat   
TA: nyancat ii2 NOT beloved and thii2 ii2 outdated a2 FUCK.   
TG: sir im gonna have to ask u to lower ur voice plz   
TA: why would you do thii2 two me?   
TA: make iit 2top!   
TG: are u sure   
TG: i think you just got……………   
TG: ownd ownd ownd ownd ownd   
TG: ownd ownd   
TA: thii2 ii2 on max volume!   
TA: how diid you even get iintwo my volume control2?   
TG: srry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamez   
TG: (ownd)   
TA: ii’m 2eriiou2 rx, turn iit off!!!!!   
TG: srry im 2 busy playin dumb human sport gamez   
TA: YOU FUCKIING DII2ABLED 2HUT DOWN?   
TA: who DOE2 that?????   
TG: ownd ownd   
TG: (owned)   
TA: damn iit!   
TG: ownd ownd   
TA: ii 2wear thii2 ii2 the most outdated meme.

Psionic energy started to graze the hairs of her skin, and before she realized it, her entire body lifted into the air. Her computer slid off of her lap, and she hung upside down with the biggest grin she could muster, crossing her arms over her chest. From this view, she watched Sollux from across the room, grumbling to himself as his eyebrows knit in frustration behind his shades. Roxy wasn’t far away -- only a few steps’ worth. Even though this was technically her room, Sollux still managed to make everything obnoxiously even. Every wall had two posters, and there was an even and matching amount of furniture on both sides. Even still, the room was exactly split in half, but she liked to leave her things on the side he designated as his own. To be dangling mid-air in the way that she was had proven to be useless if his goal was to get on her nerves.

To his dismay and disappointment, his psionics only made her giggle at best. Whether it was through psionic telekinesis or minor electric surges against her skin (talk about ticklish and sensual as hell during prime make out sessions), laughter, on her end, continued to be much more prevalent than any real anger. From what Roxy learned in her kismesissitude with Sollux, this kind of activity gave her the upper hand. 

And, oh, was his expression worth it. 

“Will you stop looking so smug?” he grumbled, and although she could hear him, she cupped her ear anyway. 

“Sorry, can’t hear you behind all this nyancat. Maybe you should turn it down!”

“I CAN’T! You annihilated my husktop!” he retorted, voice raising to a yell. 

She shrugged. “Might as well toss it out the window if your tech skills aren’t up to par after all!”

He groaned loudly, grabbing his husktop and getting to work. 

“You are staying RIGHT there while I figure this out.” 

It took him a solid twenty minutes, and every time he glanced up to give her a dirty look, she struck a different pose. Finally, the music shut off all at once, and she was spun right up and set on the ground.

“Holy fucking shit, RX,” he said, rubbing his temples as she approached him. “Have I mentioned how awful you are lately? Because that word’s not going to make the cut anymore.”

She took a seat next to him and pushed his laptop off, pulling his head down on her lap. 

“C’mere you big, dumb baby.” 

She slipped her hand through his hair to rub at his scalp, soothing any tension there. The noises that left his mouth were just what she wanted to hear at that moment. She wore the most pleased expression she could muster. 

“I’m pullin’ the most wicked villain RN,” she said, starting to pet Sollux’s face obnoxiously while he swatted at her hand. 

She was much too fast, and she grabbed his hand in order to lean over and kiss him. 

Unfortunately, his forked tongue zapped her right in the mouth, and she squealed in surprise, pulling away. 

“Bluh!” 

Her mouth twisted at that terrible feeling as she shook her head quickly.

Laughing hysterically below her was none other than her kismesis, while she rubbed her own tongue with the palm of her hand. 

“You think that’s funny, punk?”

His laughter continued until she pulled out her phone, hitting just a few buttons until Nyancat’s contagious melody sprung forth from a hidden set of speakers.


End file.
